Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Teezy's Turkey Tamaleeze

In part two of my attempt to show the kinder and gentler side of my personality, I have agreed to show my fat and slovenly friends and family members how to make Teezy's Turkey Tamaleeze.

I will warn you now that this recipe contains no lard, so many of you may choose not to continue reading this post. For those daring enough to eat lard-free tamales, please enjoy...

Before you start anything you have to soak the corn husks in hot water. Place a plate on top of the husks to keep them submerged. They need to soak for at least one hour.

Turkey Filling Recipe:
(The amounts of all ingredients are to taste and are determined by the amount of turkey or chicken)
Cooked Turkey or Chicken
*Optional*Crumbled Bacon (about two slices)
Green Bell Pepper (diced)
Red Bell Pepper (diced)
Yellow Bell Pepper (diced)
White or Yellow Onion (diced)
Tomato (seeds removed and finely diced)
Corn
Carrot (shredded)
Roasted Green Chile (peeled, seeded and diced—you can use canned)
Tomatillo Sauce (you can use canned)
Thyme
Garlic
Cumin
Salt and Pepper

chop all the vegetables

Finished Turkey Filling

Throw all the filling junk into a bowl and stir. This is what the finished filling should look like. Add the Thyme, Salt, Pepper, Cumin and Garlic to taste. You can also add jalapeño or chipotle if you want spicy.

Now you have to make the Masa.

Masa Recipe:
4 Cups White Masa Flour
3 tsp salt
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1 tsp Chile Powder
2 tbs Corn (or to taste)
1 tbs chopped Green Chile (or to taste)
1 Cup Corn Oil
2 1/2 Cups Broth (Turkey or Chicken)

Put all the Masa stuff in a bowl and knead it until it is thoroughly mixed. It should form a ball and be about the consistency of peanut butter. You can add more Masa flour or stock as needed.


Golf Ball sized Hunk of Masa on Corn Husk

Pat one of the soaked corn husks on a towel to remove any excess moisture. Yank off a golf ball sized chunk of Masa and place it in the center of the corn husk.

Smashed Masa on Corn Husk

With your fingers (please wash your hands) spread the Masa over the center of the corn husk as pictured above. Make sure that the Masa goes all the way to the large end of the corn husk but leave about one inch from the small end.

Filling the Tamale

Now glop some of the filling down the center of the Masa as shown in the picture above.

Yellow Turd-looking Thing

Now pick up the corn husk and bring the two sides together to wrap the filling with the Masa. This stuff is kind of like playdough. You have to press it together a little bit but it will stick and form this yellow turd-looking thing.

Rolled Tamale

Roll the corn husk around the tamale trying to keep it tight but without squeezing all the gunk out.

Finished Tamale

Finish the tamale by folding the narrow end of the corn husk up forming a flap that closes the bottom end of the tamale.


Tamales in Steamer

Keep rolling tamales for what seems like forever and stack them open ends up in the basket of a steamer as pictured above.

Steaming Tamales

Place a damp towel over the tamales, cover and steam. It takes about 30 minutes to one hour depending on how many tamales there are, how big they are, etc. The Masa should be firm and cooked through when finished. In other words, don't eat raw food you idiots.

OMG, I just posted a recipe on my blog. I am morphing into an oblivious soccer mom just like Blogger predicted—what's next? Will I turn into a filthy cat lady?

Help Me...

email me: Teezy



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2 comments:

  1. I like my tamales with nuts and raisins. Salvadorans use banana leaves and they come out wet and juicy, growing up eating Mexican tamales, I now only eat the Salvadoran ones, better.

    Next church picnic for Pastor Oben, you bring your tamales and I'll bring my deviled eggs and we'll teach Susan two can play her game, and she calls herself a Christian?

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  2. Susan's a whore.

    When I was in college I would get a grant every year to go to Mexico during Dia de Los Muertos to "study indigenous art" (mostly I went there to drink tequilla and eat avocado). I had tamales in banana leaves there and they were good. I didn't know that it was a Salvadorian thing.

    Since I live in Nuevo México, I would probably be assassinated in my sleep if word got out that I made tamales in anything but corn husks.

    There was a place here called Tamale Mollysthat had all sorts of strange tamales. The chocolate and almond and the pecan, raisin, lemon ones rocked.

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