Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Another Valentine's Day has Passed

I hope that everyone out there had a spectacular Valentine's Day and was able to do all the wonderful stuff that people do on such a loving and superficial made-up holiday.

Being truly sentimental at heart, every year I do the somewhat cliché but always appreciated romantic evening at home. I get dressed up in a jacket and tie and put on a little cologne. I prepare a nice intimate meal by the fireplace, always with a good bottle of wine. Of course I light candles to give just the right ambience and provide that warm glow of love. And yes, I play some soft romantic jazz on the stereo to set the mood.

After a leisurely dinner it is time to retire to the bedroom where I have previously pulled the drapes, dimmed the lights and covered the bed with hundreds of rose petals. I pop the cork on a chilled bottle of champagne, pour, and begin to get undressed slowly. I climb into bed, sip my champagne, and lie there alone, amid the rose petals, wondering why no one will ever love me.

But this year was different—I actually interacted with other people.

Reezy's Valentine's Day Buffet

My friend Reezy had decided to have a dinner party and was kind enough to invite me. There was a great turn out. I got to see many old friends and meet some new ones and, as you can see in the photo above, the food was incredible.

Surprisingly, I was only sightly humiliated by the fact that I was the only one there alone. Even the gay guys who aren't in relationships brought girl dates—what's up with that? I was going to call them on it but, after a few champagne cocktails, I decided to simply lie and tell everyone that my date was in the bathroom. As the evening progressed and I began to get questioned about the bathroom answer, I cleverly stated that my date had been suffering from diarrhea for what seemed like weeks—I think they bought it because everyone stopped asking me about it.

We all decided to go for a nightcap at Vanessie, a very nice restaurant with a piano bar. The entertainment was pleasant—sentimental love songs with a nice piano accompaniment—and there was a good sized crowd enjoying the show.

The evening ended with an art photographer sitting down next to me at our table and asking me to consider being photographed by her—NUDE! She even tried to get my friends to coax me into doing it. Of course, being the shy and modest person that I am, I said no, but she said that if I was uncomfortable we could start with shots from just the waist up. But that doesn't seem like much fun. I have to admit, seeing my tickle-bits dangling in an art gallery not only makes me chuckle but intrigues me a little bit.

Believe it or not, the photographer is legit—she has done fashion, portraits, and magazine work as well as art photography. Who knows, some day there may be nekid pictures of Teezy in galleries and museums everywhere! I'll keep you posted.

And mom, it is not porn if it is in a gallery—it's erotic ART!!

I will leave you with a little side-hug action to show all of you my love (in a "I gots to have abstinence" kind of way):


You had better beware if you see me coming at you "front hug bound with that look in my eye"!

Fortunately, someone had the good sense to shoot them all dead at the end of the show—you know how those fundamental Christians and their guns can be.



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7 comments:

  1. I believe it was Linda Hunt as Billy Kwan who said, "If it is in focus it is pornogrophy if it is out of focus it is art."

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  2. Anonymous18.2.10

    sorry ur alone on vd but im glad u had a good time. vanessie is cool kind of a older crowd tho. u need 2 date. ru going 2 post the nude photos on this blog?

    jacob

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  3. Hey Mick-

    I actually met Linda Hunt one summer when I was a kid at Interlochen—she is an alumni of the arts academy. All I remember is that she was really nice but had a very intense vibe that kind of scared me—I probably would have crapped my khakis if she showed up as Billy Kwan. :D

    Believe me, if I decide to do the photos they are going to have to go all Elizabeth Taylor on it— a smoke machine, diffused light, extra-soft focus and an entire jar of vaseline smeared over the lens.

    It will be true art.


    Hey Jacob-

    Thanks for the sentiment but I don't mind being alone on Valentine's Day—I'm not lonely. This post was really just for fun.

    It seems like everyone that I know thinks that it is some sort of tragedy that I'm not part of a couple—but unless some amazing person falls into my life, I will continue to enjoy being single.

    Also, with all the anonymity that I try to maintain on this blog, I would never post those photos here.

    Besides, if I were to post nude pix of myself I would probably break the internet—4 reals! =)

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  4. I remember when I first saw Linda Hunt as Kwan I had NO idea it was a woman...until her character was coming down the stairs in one scene and I thought, 'he sure walks down stairs like a woman' [whatever that means]. Been a fan ever since. I really liked her in SILVERADO. Then she popped up on a sci-fi show in the late 80s, had a 25 second cameo in DUNE and I seem to recall seeing her recently on a promo for some show on television. She and her voice are hard to miss.

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  5. Wow, I'm not sure how I'd react if somebody asked me to pose nude for a photo! I'd probably blush and giggle first, then get scared. Good for you though! It would certainly be an experience!
    Actually, come to think of it, this creepy guy once stopped me in a shop (in the womens underwear section no less) and asked me if he could pay me to walk around his house in lingerie and just bring him drinks and stuff- "no funny business" O.o. I politely declined and walked away...quite fast.
    At least you know this photographer is legit!

    Sounds like you had a nice Valentines day. I think it's healthy to enjoy being single. we don't all have to be coupled up to enjoy life. Glad you had fun!

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  6. I'm glad you are back from vacation—I will stop by your blog soon to say hello.

    I haven't decided about the photos yet—I am an extremely shy person. The whole situation was really embarrassing—I regress into an 8 year old nerd when I'm embarrassed—I am sure I came across as a complete goofy idiot to the photographer, but she still wants to do the photo shoot this summer. Go figure.

    I've never had the courage to troll the women's underwear section—although I don't know how to do it and not seem creepy, if I figure that out, I may give it a shot. :D

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