Oklahoma panhandle looking towards New Mexico
I am going to begin this post by stating that I am proud of my Oklahoma heritage. My mother's family is Cherokee and have been in Oklahoma since the Trail of Tears. My father moved to Oklahoma for employment as a research scientist for a large petroleum conglomerate. My father was transferred a few times during my childhood, but we always returned to Oklahoma. My entire education through graduate school was based in Oklahoma and my Okie education has provided me with the opportunity to tour the United States as a musician, travel the world as an import buyer and eventually settle (for now) in Santa Fe as a designer. This is just to say that not everyone in Oklahoma walks around barefoot or circles the wagons at night.
As most people do when reminiscing about their hometown, I will say that without a doubt the people in Oklahoma are almost overly kind and polite. Manners are important there, from the obligatory "please" and "thank you" at the drive through window, to holding the door open for a stranger at the convenience store. Treating others with kindness is a badge of honor there.
Appearance is also important in Oklahoma. Perhaps not as forced and over-the-top as say Dallas, but the people in Oklahoma are generally attractive and try to present themselves well. Throughout all my travels I still miss the polite and pleasant looking people of Oklahoma.
So, as I wax nostalgic, I also must be honest about my home state. Perhaps because of the agrarian background, there still exists an undercurrent of the idea that men must be manly-men (see my last post on being the smallest guy in my class) and women are to birth the babies. Or, the politically correct term "Traditional Values". Or, as I like to say "Antiquated Bullshit".
I was raised Mormon. You can't get more "Traditional Values" than that. When I say raised, I mean that my family was active in the church, I was baptized as a Mormon at the age of eight, even our scout troop was affiliated with the Mormon church—it was intense.
Both my parents were well educated and saw the need to provide the best education they could for their children. That is where the problem began.
My parents believed that the educational system in Oklahoma placed an abnormal emphasis on sporting activities over academics. This still sparks a contentious debate.
So, while on a recent road trip through the Oklahoma panhandle, I ran across this piece of evidence on the side of a public school:
School Sign in Forgan OklahomaAt least "Academic" is listed before golf for God's sake. Although, let's face it, golf isn't a real sport like football, basketball or track. Also, shouldn't "Academic" be "Academics"?
Understandably so, my parents placed me in a parochial school (the only private school available) so that the delightful Sisters of the Order of Saint Augustine could mold my brain.
It was an interesting experience. Needless to say, I was the only Mormon (aka heathen) in attendance. I did receive a good education and, in hindsight, the sisters were quite tolerant of me—probably because they simply did not know what to make of me—you know, worshiping Joseph Smith, growing up in bigamy, waiting for Jesus to come to earth on his spaceship, and all the other crazy myths surrounding the "Cult of Mormanism".
There is an interesting dynamic that happens when you are totally immersed and participating in a group without actually being a part of it. I was able to glean the best they had to offer, taught their values and outlook, learned their customs and rituals but I was never expected to accept their belief system. Strange. Meanwhile, on Sundays I was participating in the Sacrament, going to Primary and, as a boy, preparing for a Mormon Mission when I was eighteen. Stranger still.
I had to attend Mass but never took Communion. I remember I thought that just sitting there on the pew made me look as if I was either not in a "State of Grace" or had missed confession since my last mortal sin. I remember pitching fits (just to be a little shit) because all the other kids got "cookies" at communion and I got none. I also remember sneaking a pair of red plastic devil horns to school for Halloween even though the school diocese strictly forbade celebrating the holiday. I never got into too much trouble over wearing the devil horns, maybe because I was just seen as the little devil incarnate in the classroom, or, I truly believe, that many of the sisters thought that it was really kind of funny—the Mormon kid actually looking like Satan.
So, there you have it. Mormons, Catholics and Okies—a childhood of fond, strange, uptight and humorous memories that made me the weirdness that I am today. And, believe it or not, I was able to grow up in Oklahoma and never play a single game of football.
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My folks tried raising me with religious views as well. I had no interest though and was sent to Sunday school against my will which I hated. My mom is protestant and my dad is Catholic.
ReplyDeleteI was registered with the protestant church by my folks while I was still young. When I turned 18 and became legally an adult, the protestant church started sending me one letter a year asking for my yearly donation. They never missed to include a sheet telling people how much they should be paying based on salary. I was still in school then...
I think I was 20 years of age when I de-registered with them. That donation sheet was the drop. I'm not a fan of organized religion to be honest. But especially not of those which tell me how much I owe them.
Has your mom ever taught you the Cherokee believes and values? Those would be far more interesting I think.
Cheers, V.
Hey Vincent-
ReplyDeleteThe Mormons expect you to pay 10% of your income to the church as tithing, but it is on the honor system so they don't directly ask you for it and they don't pass around a collection plate or basket. They believe that you should want to give to the church freely so they don't force the issue (or send you a bill).
I think that the Mormons believe in the "Once saved always saved" system much like the Baptists so, once baptized you have to be excommunicated in order to fully leave the church. Even though my lifestyle certainly does not conform to the Mormon doctrine, they haven't tried to excommunicate me—no de-registration for the Mormons, they even baptize the dead so that their spirits will have the choice to accept Jesus or not.
My mother is Mormon so she taught me Christian ideology.
I didn't mention it in the post, but we did visit my grandmother about once a month and she taught my brother and I many of the traditional Tsalagi (Cherokee) beliefs.
It is interesting that my grandmother would always tell me that the first generation chooses to forget, the second generation tries to remember. I have found it to be very true in my life. My mother wanted to forget the traditional ways and become more like the non-native people around her where my brother and I both are interested in and would like to learn more about our Tsalagi heritage.
Unfortunately, my grandmother has died but she was an incredibly interesting person and I was fascinated by her stories. She taught me that everyone you know is a friend and family member, to embrace diversity because it is a gift for all who experience it, and that it is unnecessary to hate anyone who has done you no specific harm.
It is strange that Native Americans were, and sometimes still are, considered savages.
I've visited OK for the first time twice this past year to visit a friend that lives in Cushing. So far I love the state. Rolling hills of green are so foreign to me having lived across the southwest [CA, AZ, NM]. Hefner Lake and Keystone Lake are a pretty cool. Really enjoyed the Tallgrass Prarie Preserve.
ReplyDeleteMick
Hey Mick-
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, most people think that Oklahoma is still the dust bowl. I am from Northeastern Oklahoma and it is very green, lush and forested.
After the dust bowl and (I think) as part of the WPA, Oklahoma began creating man-made lakes all over the state. There is now more shoreline in Oklahoma that the Gulf and East coasts combined—unfortunately it gets really humid there.